Comments on: Celebrate Constitution Day Bush-Style http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/ Author James Bovard Sat, 11 Feb 2012 05:43:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Free New York Blog » Blog Archive » It’s Time To Celebrate! http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4704 Free New York Blog » Blog Archive » It’s Time To Celebrate! Fri, 22 Sep 2006 01:54:22 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4704 [...] Jim Bovard, author of ATTENTION DEFICIT DEMOCRACY has made some contemporary suggestions on how to party at this joyous time on his blog. 1) Wiretap your neighbor. If he discovers it and complains, ask him whose side he is on and what does he have to hide. Send the tapes of all conversations to the local FBI. 2) Capture and torture an illegal immigrant. If he confesses, turn him in. If he doesn’t confess, try new methods to extract the truth. 3) Notify your mortgage company that you appended a secret “signing statement” when you signed the mortgage. Thus, you are relieved of any duty to continue monthly payments. [...] [...] Jim Bovard, author of ATTENTION DEFICIT DEMOCRACY has made some contemporary suggestions on how to party at this joyous time on his blog. 1) Wiretap your neighbor. If he discovers it and complains, ask him whose side he is on and what does he have to hide. Send the tapes of all conversations to the local FBI. 2) Capture and torture an illegal immigrant. If he confesses, turn him in. If he doesn’t confess, try new methods to extract the truth. 3) Notify your mortgage company that you appended a secret “signing statement” when you signed the mortgage. Thus, you are relieved of any duty to continue monthly payments. [...]

]]> By: americanintifada http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4656 americanintifada Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:18:59 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4656 Jim - I can quaff down hundreds of B-52s, but I don't think they're considered 'tropical' drinks! If you mean the band, I can listen those particular Georgia-based rock-n-rollers all night long! If you mean the actual bomber, I think it is obsolete now and has been replaced by more stealthy weaponry of mass destruction! Thanks for the tip, though, and I will see you soon in the Gulag! You'll recognize me for sure because I'm the old, fat, bald, white guy with a tortured look on my face!!! Jim - I can quaff down hundreds of B-52s, but I don’t think they’re considered ‘tropical’ drinks! If you mean the band, I can listen those particular Georgia-based rock-n-rollers all night long! If you mean the actual bomber, I think it is obsolete now and has been replaced by more stealthy weaponry of mass destruction! Thanks for the tip, though, and I will see you soon in the Gulag! You’ll recognize me for sure because I’m the old, fat, bald, white guy with a tortured look on my face!!!

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4645 Jim Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:48:40 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4645 JQ - if people followed your suggestion, it would only be a question of time until the government began licensing bullhorns. Or else insisted on a monopoly on bull. JQ - if people followed your suggestion, it would only be a question of time until the government began licensing bullhorns.

Or else insisted on a monopoly on bull.

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4644 Jim Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:43:50 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4644 AmericanIntifada - I hear that there are great tropical drinks available in Diego Garcia. Keep your eyes open for any B-52s heading for Tehran. AmericanIntifada - I hear that there are great tropical drinks available in Diego Garcia.

Keep your eyes open for any B-52s heading for Tehran.

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4643 Jim Wed, 20 Sep 2006 02:37:45 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4643 Ross - thanks for the kind words on ADD! Ya, I don't think the Education Department would approve. I hear they are prejudiced against writers who use colons. Ross - thanks for the kind words on ADD!

Ya, I don’t think the Education Department would approve. I hear they are prejudiced against writers who use colons.

]]> By: Ross Ruthenberg http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4634 Ross Ruthenberg Tue, 19 Sep 2006 19:24:29 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4634 Just finished your great A.D.D. book. Should be required reading in all our schools. Oh wait, that would require approval by the U.S. Department of Education. Damn! Just finished your great A.D.D. book. Should be required reading in all our schools. Oh wait, that would require approval by the U.S. Department of Education. Damn!

]]> By: Warren Ward http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4616 Warren Ward Tue, 19 Sep 2006 10:23:34 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4616 You need to quit calling Bush the "Commander in Chief." According to the Constitution, Congress is the commander-in-chief except in a declared war. It gives him too much credibility. You need to quit calling Bush the “Commander in Chief.” According to the Constitution, Congress is the commander-in-chief except in a declared war. It gives him too much credibility.

]]> By: americanintifada http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4612 americanintifada Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:05:27 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4612 That didn't work for me, JQ. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to run around the neighborhood with my bullhorn blasting at 1 AM today, but eventually found myself incarderated for committing an Act of Terrorism! The local police told me that the Constitution is 'on hold' right now. Go figure! Now I'm in a place called Diego Garcia, surrounded by brand new friends who all just happen to have olive-colored skin, orange jumpsuits and thick Arab accents. Is there a lawyer in the house? Oh, wait! I AM a lawyer! Never mind!!! That didn’t work for me, JQ. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to run around the neighborhood with my bullhorn blasting at 1 AM today, but eventually found myself incarderated for committing an Act of Terrorism! The local police told me that the Constitution is ‘on hold’ right now. Go figure! Now I’m in a place called Diego Garcia, surrounded by brand new friends who all just happen to have olive-colored skin, orange jumpsuits and thick Arab accents. Is there a lawyer in the house? Oh, wait! I AM a lawyer! Never mind!!!

]]> By: J. Q. Smith http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4608 J. Q. Smith Mon, 18 Sep 2006 19:47:17 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4608 Start a Neighborhood Security Administration (NSA, like TSA). Install a metal detector on your block, that everyone has to go thru each time they want to use their own rest room. Ensure that they cannot carry anything into their homes which is a liquid. Uh oh, that means no water at home! Well, never mind, no sacrifice is too much when it comes to neighborhood security. We will all have to learn to do without water, what with the bad guys using liquid to endanger our neighborhoods. Then, go around with a bull horn proclaiming loudly that you are hard at work protecting the neighborhood. Start a Neighborhood Security Administration (NSA, like TSA). Install a metal detector on your block, that everyone has to go thru each time they want to use their own rest room. Ensure that they cannot carry anything into their homes which is a liquid. Uh oh, that means no water at home! Well, never mind, no sacrifice is too much when it comes to neighborhood security. We will all have to learn to do without water, what with the bad guys using liquid to endanger our neighborhoods. Then, go around with a bull horn proclaiming loudly that you are hard at work protecting the neighborhood.

]]> By: Connor’s Conundrums | Constitution Day, Bush-Style http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4604 Connor’s Conundrums | Constitution Day, Bush-Style Mon, 18 Sep 2006 18:51:42 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4604 [...] Dang! It slipped my mind that yesterday was Constitution Day! I was hoping to plan some festivities and make a big thing out if it. Jim Bovard offered three great suggestions for how to celebrate such a day in “this Age of Bush” (I’ll try to remember these for next year): [...] [...] Dang! It slipped my mind that yesterday was Constitution Day! I was hoping to plan some festivities and make a big thing out if it. Jim Bovard offered three great suggestions for how to celebrate such a day in “this Age of Bush” (I’ll try to remember these for next year): [...]

]]> By: Rad Geek http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4603 Rad Geek Mon, 18 Sep 2006 18:34:51 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4603 Personally, I celebrate "Constitution Day" by <a href="http://radgeek.com/gt/2005/09/17/international_ignore" rel="nofollow">ignoring the Constitution</a>. <strong>Kirk:</strong> <em>Bush has already stated his position on the Constitution and, as a corrollary, what the document means. His quote: "It's just a goddamned piece of paper."</em> Well. <em>Isn't</em> it just a goddamned piece of paper? <strong>Kirk:</strong> <em>After calling our founding document that assures our freedom a “goddamned piece of paper”, ...</em> You count on the United States Constitution to assure your freedom? Really? How's that been working out for you lately? <strong>Jim:</strong> <em>Unfortunately, almost everything that the government does regarding alleged narcotics violators has been exempt from the Constitution since about 1986.</em> If they passed a Constitutional Amendment that would make it constitutional for the narcs to arbitrarily harass, search, seize, beat, restrain, storm the houses, and confiscate the property of people in order to carry on the War on Unauthorized Drugs, would that make it somehow O.K., or even one jot less evil? <strong>"... whether the Constitution really be one thing, or another, this much is certain -- that it has either authorized such a government as we have had, or has been powerless to prevent it. In either case, it is unfit to exist."</strong> -- <a href="http://praxeology.net/LS-NT-6.htm#NT.6.20.1" rel="nofollow">Lysander Spooner (1870)</a> Personally, I celebrate “Constitution Day” by ignoring the Constitution.

Kirk: Bush has already stated his position on the Constitution and, as a corrollary, what the document means. His quote: “It’s just a goddamned piece of paper.”

Well. Isn’t it just a goddamned piece of paper?

Kirk: After calling our founding document that assures our freedom a “goddamned piece of paper”, …

You count on the United States Constitution to assure your freedom? Really? How’s that been working out for you lately?

Jim: Unfortunately, almost everything that the government does regarding alleged narcotics violators has been exempt from the Constitution since about 1986.

If they passed a Constitutional Amendment that would make it constitutional for the narcs to arbitrarily harass, search, seize, beat, restrain, storm the houses, and confiscate the property of people in order to carry on the War on Unauthorized Drugs, would that make it somehow O.K., or even one jot less evil?

“… whether the Constitution really be one thing, or another, this much is certain — that it has either authorized such a government as we have had, or has been powerless to prevent it. In either case, it is unfit to exist.” — Lysander Spooner (1870)

]]> By: Ray Jensen http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4602 Ray Jensen Mon, 18 Sep 2006 18:30:52 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4602 "3) Notify your mortgage company that you appended a secret “signing statement” when you signed the mortgage. Thus, you are relieved of any duty to continue monthly payments." And if that does not work, just print the money you need to pay your mortgage. The Federal Reserve does it, so why can't you? “3) Notify your mortgage company that you appended a secret “signing statement” when you signed the mortgage. Thus, you are relieved of any duty to continue monthly payments.”

And if that does not work, just print the money you need to pay your mortgage. The Federal Reserve does it, so why can’t you?

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4600 Jim Mon, 18 Sep 2006 14:47:58 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4600 That's a great idea! I'll use it the next time a State Trooper asks how me fast I think I was driving. That’s a great idea!

I’ll use it the next time a State Trooper asks how me fast I think I was driving.

]]> By: Jean http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4599 Jean Mon, 18 Sep 2006 13:49:20 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4599 When asked about giving financial or personal information, invoke the "states secret" privilege. When asked about giving financial or personal information, invoke the “states secret” privilege.

]]> By: Jim http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4598 Jim Mon, 18 Sep 2006 13:10:28 +0000 http://jimbovard.com/blog/2006/09/17/celebrate-constitution-day-bush-style/#comment-4598 Maybe the Bush administration can start having the Presidential Medals of Freedom coined like pennies, passing them out to everyone and thus proving that Americans are more patriotic than ever before. Maybe the Bush administration can start having the Presidential Medals of Freedom coined like pennies, passing them out to everyone and thus proving that Americans are more patriotic than ever before.

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